I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i was born a porn star she said
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
