1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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