Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize