am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
