do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
