no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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