You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
