we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
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first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
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there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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