I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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