Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
she peed on how many people?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
