He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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