absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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