I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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