He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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