Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
