Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
