Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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