yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You took a bar mat shot.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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