u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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