Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
