Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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