FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
