Grow some girl-balls and come out already
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
