I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
