Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He felt like a one man threesome
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
