Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
