Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
