sarcasm needs its own font
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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