She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Redeem this text for a blowjob
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
