i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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