the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
