I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
