I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
