when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
