I wish my penis had an off switch
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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