This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
