Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
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You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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