I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
