Whod you bang
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
