Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
