pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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