these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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