ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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