Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
