Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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