Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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