he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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