I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
