Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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