all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
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Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
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I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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