feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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