i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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