shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
