Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize