hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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