she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
