just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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