i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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