You're completely useless in the revolution.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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