Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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