Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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