There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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