Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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