i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
