Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
