How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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