I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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