tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
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he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
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This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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