Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
