This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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