And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
